That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize