Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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