Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
