right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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