I am spending my child support on dildos
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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