so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
