i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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