she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
