This is not my ceiling
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize