ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
