Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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