Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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