I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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