no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
