We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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