you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
