I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
