Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
