Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
