im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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