Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
