trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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