This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
