He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
