When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
