I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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