I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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