I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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