Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
