pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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