he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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