So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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