Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Can't talk, ducks in the car
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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