We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
