and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
