I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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