The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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