Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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