My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
