i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
