Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Randomize