I'm laying in your front yard are you home
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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