i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
she pinky promised me she was 18
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
there is glitter all over my balls
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
