Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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