On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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