it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
