i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize