she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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