oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
