yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I can't put those talents on a resume
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
