shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
