it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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