my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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