I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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