My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
