Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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