Whats the glycemic index on semen?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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