I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
