Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We need to get me chipped asap
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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