I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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