so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
