haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
