yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
